Thursday, December 18, 2014

Tour Divide - Changing Gears

This is a tough one.

I've been wrestling with this for a while, but I'm pulling out for Tour Divide 2015.

I'll be honest, gearing up is expensive, and the training is kicking my butt, but when it comes down to it, I'm struggling with the time commitment - not just the time commitment for training, but also for the event itself.  My son Julian is ten years old, and at a really formative time in his life.  I remember what life was like for me at that age, and what a piss-ant I turned into when my dad was gone on business, sometimes for weeks at a time.  I think my mom and sister dreaded those weeks.  Anyway, the fact that participating in the TD is purely voluntary has me questioning my motivations & priorities.

I'm not sure what this means for my long term goals (2016 and beyond).  Gotta figure out what I really want out of this, and whether it's about the route, or about the race.  I want to figure out some way of including my family in this endeavor if I'm going to do it in the next few years.  Maybe it means I end up touring the route (or select parts of it), with them following in a support vehicle?  Maybe I race it in some other season of life.  Maybe something else altogether.  I don't know yet, still trying to figure it all out.  All I know is someday our son won't live with us anymore, and I don't want any regrets then about how I live my life now.

I'll continue to train, though probably less aggressively than I have been up to now.  More of a maintenance program, maybe throw some single track into the mix again.  I've been doing mainly gravel roads for the past several months, and my trail bike is convinced I don't love it anymore.  And it'll give me a chance to get the Fargo dialed in for future outings:  I'd love to put a Lauf fork on it, and maybe even a Rohloff/Gates drivetrain, neither of which I can afford at present.

So, I still have goals.  For the time being though, the Tour Divide has to go on the back burner.

But I will still watch the blue dots next summer.